I recently spoke with a women who shared this:
“I am currently in a position that pays very well and supports my family but I am miserable. I am always working with hours that leave zero left for a work life balance. The stress level is becoming unbearable and is affecting me as a mother of 3 small children as well as my marriage. My husband and I have agreed that it’s time for me to leave my current role but I don’t have any real desire to continue in this type of career. I feel I am burned out and need a break all together so I can find what my path is.”
Many of the people I work with describe these same issues. Maybe you are one of them. Your health, marriage, and kids suffer from the damaging effects of continuing to do work that drains you of life. Money is never an excuse to stay miserable. You Only Live Once (YOLO)- why would you waste it doing something that sucks your soul out?
The reason people stay in work they are miserable in are:
1. They fear change and the unknown: The truth is, life is full of change and uncertainty. We can not control everything. The more we surrender our tight grip of control the more freedom and life we find.
2. They are under the illusion of a secure and steady paycheck– which does not exist. I use the word illusion with intention. “Security” of a steady and reliable paycheck is not security at all. At any moment the business can merge and they may decide to let go of all the executive level management. While it’s true that the higher up your position, the more work it takes to replace you. However, the reality is they still can and will replace you if they determine it fits their business growth initiatives. Why not begin the process of finding your path now and do work that matters most to you? And no- you don’t take a pay cut to do work you love. That’s a myth as well.
3. They are worn out as it is, the thought of developing new skills and making a change seems like too much work. People put time, money, and effort into things they value. Do you value your health, marriage, and relationship with your kids? Do you value yourself? Put the effort into making the changes not only for those you love most- but also for yourself. It models courage.
4. They think they are doing their kids a favor by keeping them in their extra curricular activities and giving them all the “luxuries” they work so hard for: I’m going to be very transparent here. I had a parent who LOATHED their job. They were paid quite well. We (the kids) enjoyed family vacations and extra curricular activities. You know what I would have enjoyed far more than those activities? A parent fulfilled, content, and thriving in work they love. Why? Because then there would actually be peace and joy present in the home. Instead, when the parent returned home from the dreaded day job they had nothing left. They displaced their anger at the dog, the kids, or the spouse when the real issue was that THEY NEEDED TO MAKE A CHANGE.
5. Keeping status- they fear criticism from peers and society. Over 70% of Americans dislike their work. I’d rather be the minority doing work I love- and getting paid just as well, if not better doing work that matters to me. In order to change for the better, you may outgrow the old. But this is not as difficult as it may sound. Here is what I did:
a. I listened to, viewed, or read as much life giving and inspirational content as I could get my hands on. I’m talking about two or more hours a day. Drive in traffic every day? Great! Listen to an audio book or podcast. Do household chores or exercise? Great! Listen to the content. Set the intention to make the time for this- and you will see a transformation in you energy, thought processes, and joy.
b. I APPLIED what I learned. I was so full I had to implement. I needed to actually do what I was learning. This really wasn’t that challenging for me. I wanted this more than anything- so applying it was pretty easy.
c. I attracted more of what I wanted. Yup- I didn’t have to cut off toxic relationships- I simply outgrew them. And in the process, healthier and positive relationships were found in the process.
What has kept you locked into your golden handcuffs?
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